Darchei Noam דרכי נועם

The Three Weeks prior to Tisha B'Av are a period of national mourning and introspection. Traditionally, we focus on the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, the exile of our people and the divisiveness that continues to divide us. Our tradition teaches that hope and redemption emerge from tragedy, but there is much advance work to be done. May we redouble our efforts this season for teshuvah (introspection and positive renewal of frayed relationships), tefillah (minyan attendance and recitation of berachot and tefillot with intention), and tzedakah (generosity in deed and in spirit). May Hashem bless our efforts with success and guide us towards peace and redemption.

The Three Weeks begin Wednesday night, July 1st (Shiva Asar B’Tammuz)
Mourning restrictions associated with the Three Weeks include:

• Weddings (although engagements are permitted)

• We avoid public celebrations, especially those involving singing, dancing, and musical accompaniment.

• Live music. Many include recorded music and radio in this prohibition, especially since audio technology has improved dramatically in recent decades.  This prohibition does not apply if you make your living as a musician or teacher.  Many also exempt students practicing but not performing.  Some permit background music for exercising (e.g. aerobics) provided the music is slightly muted and the purpose of the activity is exercise.

• Ashkenazim do not get haircuts. A person who shaves daily and would suffer business or financial loss by not shaving may continue to do so.  

• In general, we avoid situations requiring a Shehechiyanu berachah (e.g. eating a new fruit or wearing a significant new garment) although there are exceptions for Shabbat or circumstances where the item will no longer be available after Tisha B'Av.

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The Nine Days begin Tuesday night, July 14

The Three Weeks mourning practices intensify during the Nine Days to include:

• Prohibition on the consumption of meat and wine, except for Shabbat and se'udot mitzvah

• Bathing/swimming for pleasure, with exceptions for instructional swim and swimming for medical reasons. Bathing for hygiene should be maintained, but many are careful to take shorter lukewarm showers.

• Wearing freshly laundered outer garments, except for Shabbat. For hygienic reasons, this does not apply to undergarments. Outer garments may be 'prepared' in advance of the Nine Days by wearing them or by trampling them in advance to remove their freshness.  If necessary, the clothing of small children may be laundered and used during the Nine Days.

• Commencing home/garden improvements for pleasure/hobby purposes. Repairs for basic safety purposes are permitted as is providing adequate maintenance for existing gardens/lawns.

• ​Purchasing items that bring great joy. Exceptions include if the item would be difficult to obtain or more expensive after Tisha B'Av. However, if possible, one should avoid using the new item during the Nine Days.

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Numerous scenarios and nuances emerge from these halachot. Rabbi Davis is glad to discuss any questions you may have.

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Additional Information

Pninei Halachah

The Customs of the Nine Days and Shavua She’chal Bo 

​Orthodox Union

Laws and Traditions of the Nine Days